WAH with OW/EA - advice wanted! :)

[LisaB]

Hi Riley, Mat and Loualea,
Thanks so much for your replies and great advice!

I am trying to stay positive, focus on myself and stay out of contact with the WAH, unless he contacts me. We don't live together, he moved out last weekend.

Thanks Riley for the reminder to not snoop. Damn that one is hard!!! And also not to think or talk about the OW. I can't stop thinking about that today for some reason it is really getting me down. And yes, I have read DB but not yet DR. I was going to go pick it up at the bookstore tomorrow if they have it in stock.

Mat, thanks for your advice and compliments on my attitude! And thanks for the encouragement to flirt, I've actually been doing a bit of it this weekend. It's funny how that has two sides though, have any of you noticed it? You flirt and you feel good because you are getting attention and all that, but then the person starts getting interested and then you think "ugh leave me alone. oh gosh I wish I just had my S back!!!"

Loualea, sorry to hear about your situation, it does not sound fun. I guess what they say is that the S acts really weird and goes into denial about your whole R to protect themselves from feelings. It's super duper annoying for sure. But you didn't imagine the whole thing, they are just in denial. Hang in there!

My next hurdle is really trying not to snoop and trying not to obsess on the OW. Boy, it is not easy. The two go hand in hand.

Question for you all: he will be coming by next week to pick up some things from the house. Do you think it is better for me to be out and avoid seeing him or better to be home so that I can show him what he is missing? We last saw each other Sunday morning when he moved out, so about a week ago.

Have a good day everyone!
love,
Lisa