So do they cycle much more quickly on either end of the tunnel?
I'm sure I'm hoping some, though I have made great strides in my detachment lately. It just seems H is all over the place again similar to the beginning of this crisis several years ago. A couple of weeks ago I saw replay behaviors ( albeit mild), now he's bouncing in and out of depression and withdrawal. Seems like he wants to spend time with me and family but is fishing for invites and interest from me. Also made the comment last night that it's prob better for him not to be alone for long so he was going to go hang with our daughter at her friends house 4th party ( we were all invited but I took 2 of our boys to a carnival). I told him if he was feeling that down and needed anything to please call me ( he hasn't expressed these types of feelings since he was suicidal in Jan so it worried me, though he says he's not at that low of a point).
I know his job is ending and he needs to find something which is adding stress, so that could be part of it. But just seems different- like he's more of himself but cycling.....
In any case I have lots of GAL activities planned over the next month. Continuing to develop my own life in the event that he doesn't come back, but try to keep the door cracked in a way that I am not pulled back onto the roller coaster. Really wish I could just hold him and tell him he can get through all this. Funny how my strength is coming back.
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
