Wife officially walked away just over a month ago

[labug]

I think we need to learn to communicate, and be best friends again. We would just escalate light and heavy control talk, as well as have a mutual dependency on each other.

In what ways were you not communicating?

What are you doing to learn to communicate better? (forget the "we" part, you only control you)

I get what you mean (I think) about best friends but "best friends" is a very different R than S. What is your definition of best friend? Were you being a best friend?

I need to learn to be less controlling (I have PTSD, which I am getting treatment for now.. but one of the things is you try to control everything because you don't trust anything in the world).

It's good that you're getting treatment. It's not an easy thing to overcome.
About the control, most people here, including me, are controllers. We get that.

What kind of treatment are you getting? (not specifics, just in general)

So in short, we both need to work on our communications, value each other as people. And get talking again. We stopped being friends for a long time. I was trying, but not in the right way apparently.

You stopped being caring spouses maybe?

Again about using the "we," you have no control over what she does. The hope with DB is that, we change and it gives our S room to change. Some times it works, sometimes it doesn't. But if you take responsibility for the only person you have control over and make changes that are real and lasting, you will be better for the experience no matter the outcome.