Tonight I went out with some new friends, I had a great night, lots of laughing, dancing and terrible singing! I'm not a big drinker, and I think I had one too many, I got a little sad towards the end, watching other couples, and 6 he single people my age, and started to cry.i took myself outside, my friend came with me and I tried not to think negatively, all 8 could think was where was h, what was he doing, who was he with, I know they're destructive thoughts but they just kept coming like a freight train, and I keep thinking that on Monday, it will be his birthday and it's the first time in 10 years I haven't woken up next to him on his birthday, I don't know how to survive through this, I am missing him more than I thought possible, I want to talk to him, tell him the silly stuff, I want to curl up next to him and have him hold my hand. The pain is literally physical right now.
