Thanks LT I am grateful we don't have children to have to go through this and then I wish I wasn't so alone..depends on the day.. how do you get your head around leaving your daughters..a spouse.. ok maybe but your children.. that I don't get.. my IC said stay off these boards they don't help.. I should think of something else...good thought.. maybe for 20 seconds.. then he is back in my head... so the boards help...and I think DB helps.. I don't know what I would do if I had the kick him to the curb action.. I know I would regret it.. as you said at least he might follow.. kicking him.. well that is just not me.. I hVe positive moments and then less so..he too tried suicide.. before the affair..I think that hurts more than the affair.. that he left one morning for work.. not intending to come home... and I did not know..didnot notice..and he came home when he was interrupted and I still did not know.. maybe he is right about me..though I knew there was something wrong the week the affair started..a ctually had anxiety before but convinced myself that being jealous was my problem and not his...well it was both of our problems... thanks for the affirmation.. it helps..
