I have been thinking about that, as far as what I could take. And I really think, that's a deal breaker, but you are right that when hit with it, becomes a whole new deal. Hard to imagine any trust being there after that. But her I am wanting her to trust me again, and what I did was a deal breaker for her!!
Went to my families for fireworks with the D's. Watched some boomers, D's term, last night going again tonight to see some more. The W is out of town as well, with her family. It's good to just hang out with kids, but it's hard still to miss time with whole family during any holiday. I had a decent convo with my dad though, he's a tough love kind of guy, but that's what's needed right now. Won't have to too see W till Tuesday for kiddo swap, no contact except for a very short hold on while I get the D to talk to last night. Hard as hades to not want to say or do something, but it's getting better.
And I really think, that's a deal breaker, but you are right that when hit with it, becomes a whole new deal. Hard to imagine any trust being there after that.
Oh trust me on this one, Roid. You don't know how you're going to react until it happens to you. It amazes me what can be put aside if you think you can get the prize. The human mind and its ability to rationalize is a powerful, incomprehensible, illogical thing.
There absolutely are limits, mind you, but you will discover a lot about yourself when they are tested.
While it is not good to have no limits, it is also foolish to prematurely draw lines in the sand.
Right drawing lines bad, but also going against your inner self is bad, but we shall see. Tonight the D wanted to call after fireworks, W didn't get back to service for about a hour and half. D still wanted to talk so I called, and D put on speakerphone, they talked for 2 minutes wW started to tell story about scary boat ride, D said daddy I'm done, cut her off and you could tell it muffed her, but she just said bye in a very dry tone. Now why I say this, my first instinct was to text and ask about boat ride, but I said to myself why should I care? She left me, and is not wanting to be here. I think I am finally coming around. The no contact thing may finally be sinking in. Only took 3 months, if I only I could learn quicker.
I have made so many mistakes and miscues the last few months. And I just keep telling myself oh well. But I am not even trying to do what I can. Still focused on getting her back. I don't need her back, and we were horrible together the last 2 years, I was miserable capital M. Why would I want that, because it felt good, felt comfortable, but that's the easy way. The right way, or hard way, is to make the changes and move on with life, knowing it's not the same, I can't change the actions from then, only now until the end. I can make the better choices, but I have to do it for me!!!
Yea, you are going to have to work on you before you get her back. Because IF you get her back, you may only get one shot at it. So why would you even want to get her back until you have made the changes to yourself you need to make. You have the time, use it wisely!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Yeah that was more of an I'm sick of all of this, and my emotions that tie to it. I can get to a point of putting it aside for a bit, and then it comes rushing back. Can't take it anymore. I either put it away or it's going to eat me alive. Everything is a memory and time for new ones I think!!
