I'm not Sandi or labug but there is a forum for DBing after divorce if you look down the list.
You know, I think the positive light you're looking for is in your 8 pm post. Realizing your part in the relationship is a really big deal. Whatever your future holds, that knowledge is priceless. Hold onto it. I bet this understanding makes your life better no matter what.
Best to you.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15