Dawgy, forget the sex. Put that way out there. It's way more important to get the R on solid ground first. If you value the R, you can go without; really, you can and you must.
Just to be clear - the fact that she is in your bed does not mean anything. She may or may not be sure of what she wants. It may simply mean that she doesn't want the consequences/expense of leaving. I don't say this to be cruel; I say it to warn you that you should not try to "mind read" what her actions mean. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by assuming that she is staying for you. For example, in my case, W would have left if she could have financially. She couldn't, so she figures she could "go along to get along" until she can afford to leave. She is finding this harder to implement than she thought. (yay!)
Allowing your W to eat cake is generally not a good thing. A lack of consequences for her does not motivate her toward any decision or realization. But you must also know that you can't really impose the consequences; they must come from her choices.
This may be overwhelming - if you give more detail, you will get more insight. Key point - you have time. Relax. Don't do anything drastic.
