Old dog seeks new trick

[Old Dog]

Who did the pursuing when you met your W and began dating?

It will come as no surprise that it wan't me. All my relationships - and there haven't been many - I've fallen into. I was always so scared of rejection I never asked anyone out. I would try and buid myself up to it, but always bail out.

Fear of failure and humiliation is a big thing with me. Until I was perhaps a late teenager, I never used to look anyone in the eye. I had to teach myself to do that.

To this day I tend not to use people's names when speaking to them in case I get it wrong and am embarassed. I can't quite believe I'm writing this, it seems so stupid. I decided to try and 180 this week and have been able to do it a few times.

I guess if I delve right down, it's fear that always prevented me from showing too much emotion and prevented me from loving. Fear of rejection. Oh this is too much for me now, I'm feeling more than a little sad.