I don't understand. Does his decision about the new property affect your part of this business? I think it is progress not questioning him like you use to do. But I'm just curious why you didn't say something like, "Why are you asking for my opinion now?". I don"t know if it's the right move, but I would have had a difficult time just ignoring that fact and changing the subject. Are you afraid to take him on?
Were you seeing him asking for your opinion as "having you at his convenience"? I don't get it.
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I would fear reprimand of never getting commitment/marriage/house, etc. <<< this was my motivation
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Okay, but you still fear his reprimand. What I am asking is what can he do to you now?
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You state that he continues to control me.... why do you suggest this? I
B/c you fear him. You won't stand up for yourself. And b/c you analyze everything he does or doesn't do. You act like a compulsive or obsessive person with runaway thoughts. But the reason I called it mind control is b/c it is all going on within your mind. Maybe he started that process by his treatment of you, but it's still working. You have to end it.
But the really unhealthy part of all this is that you admit to these fears and his bad behavior........yet still want him! I think you are fantasizing of him treating you differently in a new R. It's just a dream. He has done nothing to give you hope, or to imply things will ever be different.
You remind me of women who are kidnapped and begin to believe they are in love with the criminal. I say it with concern, not as a critisim. I am worried about your mental health, honestly. You are in this unhealthy "relationship" that controls you b/c you let it.
You see you need to value yourself. But you don't how. Sometimes when you point out some action that is proving your self value, it seems completely out of context. For example, when you said he could not have you at his convenience. And since you were talking about him wanting your opinion on the property, I assume that was your point of feference. But changing the subject........instead of standing up for yourself and taking on how he completely disregarded your opinion when he started this whole thing was not showing your self value! Ignoring it and changing the subject was the actions of a victim. You chose a cowardly escape rather than call him out. Why? You had a legitimate reason and the opportunity. Only you can choose to continue portraying the actions of a victim. And only you can stop it. But I promise, you will really feel your value when you do decide enough is enough and end this craziness.
Tell me, what's the very worst he could do to punish and hurt you? I want to hear you say it. What is it that is more important than your self value? B/c you make it more important by not standing up for yourself.......and having a face off with him.
Until then, you will deceive yourself into thinking you love him.....and he loves you...and making excuses for him....and continue to obsess over him. Life is too short to live in an unhealthy stitch such as this.
You are doing better, but I want you to see you reclaim your power. You have it, you know. Believe in it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
