You have talked to a few lawyers but still don't know your rights?

She is using threats to control you and get you to leave the home. You don't cause her to be a bad mother. She causes her to be a bad mother! She's really digging for stuff to get to you now. Maybe she's right, maybe she's not being good to the kids. Anyway of knowing? Have you seen it first hand?

I suggest you stay away from her as much as possible, at least until you get a lawyer. Have you taken any action to protect yourself financiall, as I previously suggested?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!