So are you still under the same roof?

What are the ages of you and W? Do you know the age of OM?

When you referred to the underlying issues in your M, did you mean your cheating?

What happened to cause her to enter into this A? Was it payback, result of neglect from you.......what?

These conversations she's having with you recently, is this pillow talk or does she just drop it out of nowhere?

These boundaries you listed, are they being honored now?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!