I feel I am right.... I have made several outward improvements, including today. Today, he had a meeting with the lawyer of the seller. It left him with many things in his head. He came to me trying to unload in the midst of client appointments. I couldn't really give him proper attn. Then when we were in a vehicle together, he started to ask me my opinion. What do I think? What would I pay? Would I offer no conditions? cash? etc?? I just changed the subject about work again. I feel that if I am not officially involved in his deal, then its none of my concern. We are not "friends". We are business partners. He is so used to me being full of 1000 questions & interrogation...that he is now coming forward volunteering info & even asking for my input.
Like I said, I am not "his" for his convenience. Therefore, he does NOT get to have me on his terms.....<<<<< self value right there!!
Honestly Sandi, I am posting all there is... I am not hiding anything of course because I want the best amount of advice based on full truth.
I speak fearing his reprimand...but am working on this as each situation arises. He would only ever be angry and punish by no time spent, dinner/dates, vacations, etc. Nothing ever physical. I would fear reprimand of never getting commitment/marriage/house, etc. <<< this was my motivation.
A long time ago, Bond suggested for me to stand up for myself when we would argue. That was months ago. I was super scared, but saw when I did...he began to respect me..... We do not argue at all anymore. I do not take that anymore. I am learning about other things not to take from him too. It is MY choice not to accept.
Yes, catering to him for 20 years was a GREAT deal for him!! Not for me... I see that now.
You state that he continues to control me.... why do you suggest this? I am being very careful to not allow this control over my mind anymore. I am doing things regardless if it upsets/pisses him off or not... I just don't care...RIGHT? Its still a new behaviour that I am learning & will struggle with until it becomes natural.
I am DETERMINED to change ME!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
