"Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick"

[GoatGal]

Well, good thing I didn't rip him a new one---I was feeling mighty mighty mad.


I finally broke down and called his cell, left a very upbeat message,
"Hey, haven't heard from you... I'd hate to have to cancel my plans tonight, so keep me in the loop, OK?"
(I know he wants to stay here, so that would light a fire under his butt.)

Heard nothing back.. grrrrr.


Called his "Land Lady's" house phone after no response...

(Very upbeat again... )

ME: "Hey there! Didja forget about me?"
(Smiley, happy, upbeat! )

HIM: "No...why?"

ME: "Because I didn't hear back... I wasn't sure if you were going to get here in time."

HIM: "I sent you a text two hours ago saying it was no problem, I'll be there when you need me to be. I'm leaving here at 5."

ME: "Oh great, thanks! I never got that text... so I was kinda wondering.
But, OK, that's terrific. Hope you're having fun, see you when you get here. "
(SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE....Happy Happy Goat Gal! Feeling very Gumby-ish tonight too!)

It's true, he's in a bad text/call zone. I'd forgotten that. But not completely, which is why I called the house phone.

Good thing I STFU... could have gone way wrong there.

As it is---*SIGH OF RELIEF*.......

Just goes to show you, when you ASS-ume...

Best to assume the best of him, unless proven otherwise.

Also that pit-of-the-stomach feeling I got when calling the house phone. Like he might not be there at all.
I was prepared though, if that were the case. I would just leave a message saying I'd made other plans, no need to come tonight, see him tomorrow. No need to call back.

So I AM detaching much better. It seems my issues now are more with him pushing my buttons accidentally or on purpose, and that he appears to be messing with me in a manipulative way.

As MrBond and Cadet both said: It's when he crosses my boundary, that I need to act. Otherwise, let him do his thing.

Well, getting dumped on chore-wise, and disrespected (either in word or action), are two boundaries I will not tolerate being crossed.

---GG