She says she's conflicted (part 2)

[Oxford1]

Really good friends with her unstable OM. You are actually ok with this?

IMHO, why does she need to be close friend and have friendly meeting with him?

You are ok with that?

No not at all read what I am attaching and see what happened today.

I am also trying to see what is pushing a boundary and what is setting one.

I try to set boundaries and it always results in me looking like the bad guy.

For example today the wife went in her home office to work.
Before I took my shower she said she wanted to get her work phone to check email.

When I looked she also took her " special phone".

So I went in her office and nicely said, " can you not use that for on the weekend, I thought you said these three days were for us" she starts in with I knew you would check...I can do whatever I want I am a free woman etc...you can't control me...

I said fine then tomorrow when we go to see our S21 leave it home...her comments were " wash rinse repeat " of the above.

I told her forget it just forget it. You can call your son and say your going by yourself"

She asked me to leave the room.

While I was in the next room cleaning the fish tanks I admit it was passive aggressive but I made comments...kind of in the realm of ...oh no I did not call him he thinks I am dead..or oh I need to talk to my American mistress it's been ten minutes...

She came out of her office angry as hell ..I looked her in the eye and said...

Here's my boundary ...you will not take that cell phone with you tomorrow...of course she goes off again...
She says you are wrong I am not in a Fog...I am not a drug addict ...I told you it's just that he gets worried and he's a sweet guy and I can't hurt him!"

So here was my comment:

" your idiot has you on such a short leash..yes he's 6500 miles away, but you are in the most controlled intrusive relationship....
You are on the shortest leash in the world!"

Her next comment was " oh that's a new one I have not heard"

Within 5 minutes of her walking away, she's back in the room being all sweet and nice to me and agreeing to leave her phone home tomorrow.

So I am wondering did I push to hard...I mean how do I set a boundary or ask her to respect me without somehow it involving the OM?