living with WAW who hasn't walked yet (5)

[zew]

My neighbor came over as I was mowing the lawn. He knows everything, so I brought him up to date.

He and his W have been following W on FB. (I'm blocked.) They think she's having MLC - say her posts look like she's trying to be 22 again. I told him it could very well be, and that for now, I planned to stick with things, because the kids and I are still together.

He said he has several friends who have been through this, and the common mistake is to knee-jerk D, then to have wayward spouse snap back into reality after all the D damage is done. I told him he had it pretty much all figured out!

Anyway, there's a couple that's really rooting for us, and they're very supportive. I told him I'm fine, pretty much detached most of the time and trying to be objective.

It only takes a few people like that to help keep you on track.

[GoatGal]

That's great that you have good people so close by. And they "get it" too!

Funny about the FB thing. Before he blocked me (and ultimately left FB), H was posting all kinds of crazy stuff--"Books he's 'Read'" among other things. He was creating a profile of a person who doesn't exist.

I had to bite my tongue from posting comments like:
"Seeing the movie doesn't COUNT, Sweetie!"

Anyhow, now he's blocked from mine but we have mutual friends. And when I'm not stuck here at the farm, I have a very envy-provoking life, at least on FB.
I'm SURE it gets back to him--I hope it does!

So it's interesting that your neighbors are paying attention and were so perceptive.
Maybe when they next see her, they can fill her in on how great YOU'RE doing!




---GG

[zew]

Yes, GG, the neighbors "get it".

He said, "You know Zew, at some point they figure out they aren't 22."

[Maybell]

I think I needed that today. Thank you, and thank your neighbor for me. Have a great weekend!

[artsy]

Zew! I'm proud of you for being such a great father!!!

And, I think we all will drop by your neighbor's house with some goodies in appreciation for their observations!!!

[zew]

Thanks, artsy. "father" is a title I'm keeping.

And good point, I must do something for neighbor, just for being so neighborly!

Have to clean up the house now. W and kids are on the road home. They should be here by midnight.

[chip247]

Wow, you are handling yourself with tremendous dignity & your comments regarding your relationships with your children brought a tear to my eye because that is where I am right trying to get too with my kids right now.

[zew]

I talked to SIL (where W and kids have been for last 2 weeks). She doesn't know what to say other than that W seemed more like herself the last few days. Rested. Not so frantic.

SIL says she knows W needs help, but she's going to have to want it. Suggested that maybe I ask W if she wants to go back to MC.

I have no expectations as to what will come through the door tonight, except that she'll be very tired, having driven all day.

I am totally focused on getting the kids and myself out of here on vacation in two weeks. I'm not going to do anything that might jeopardize that.

[sandi2]

I agree. Don't take on anything tonight, for sure.

And I agree with SIL that your W can't be helped until she wants it. Sad, she may have not hit bottom yet.

[zew]

Thanks for stopping by, Sandi.

I must say I'm a little anxious right now.

Not because I expect anything from W or anything to happen tonight, but because it has been so peaceful here alone for the last 2 weeks, and all that tension will be back in about 2 hours.

My only plan for tonight is to welcome home W, hug the kids, unload whatever has to come out of the car tonight and then go to bed.