The well trodden path

[chip247]

I read the 37 rules & laughed out loud as I had broken nearly every one of them, fortunately though I have been keeping a kind of diary come letter to my wife (that I have no intention of ever showing her), where I write down all the questions, logic & reasoning etc that pop into my head throughout the day. So she isn't aware of most of them, although in those first few weeks I did my best to completely alienate my wife & wreck any chance of reconciliation.

Since I backed off calm has descended on our home & we seem to be getting along ok, although on the rare occasion 'us' gets mentioned she is still extremely negative. It seems she only has recall of anything negative about me & our relationship.

I should add that she was waw 3 years ago when I came home early from work one day to find her moving the last of her stuff out to a house she had rented around the corner, after a great deal of soul searching & lengthy conversations she decided to stay & work on things. I knew I had issues to address on myself & proceeded to implement change... sadly the changes I made appear not to be the ones she needed. Its hard when your partner doesn't tell you what the issues are for her!
So here we are again & I think I know what the real issues are this time & they are all things that I can & should feel happy to address, If I'm honest I don't think I really committed to our relationship for many years & I believe that was what she really needed after having such a difficult adolescence.
I have made a huge effort in recent months to change & connect with my kids & I have to say my relationship particularly with my son recently gives me renewed strength.
I have also taken control of our finances instead of burying my head in the sand & already things are much improved, I have an appointment with our bank tomorrow & hope to consolidate some debt to manageable terms.

Its great to find a haven such as this where you can let off steam & read other peoples story, hopefully I will learn from others mistakes. Just wish I had known about this 3 years ago!