My W moving out was the best thing for my sanity and health. In my own sitch, I assume (though I desperately wanted to) assume there is no guilt. Don't try to mind read, it will only drive you nuts. The idea of doing a 180 is as much of not more for you than for them. Once I was more consistent with my 180 (still not completely consistent as I still back slide), my PMA started to return and I started seeing what was really going on. I'm still reading the DB book and looking for help where ever I can find it. This may be what she wants but in my case it the 180 did cause a reaction. Only time will tell what the outcome will be.
