Can you clarify which TED videos you're referring to?
Thanks!
And watto, you listed some fears up there ^^^.
Family will not be intact. You don't know this for sure at this point. Try to not dwell on it. Focus on strengthening your relationship with your boys as you would as a single mom. For now.
Will not be able to support boys the way they deserve. Again, this is not written in stone. Is there a difference between an ideal lifestyle and a practical one? How much will they really suffer if they need to make sacrifices? Is it really about the "stuff"? Equally important is having a mom who is strong, healthy, stable, and helps them feel protected and cherished. (I don't have kids, but I was one, once...)
The Best Man You've Ever Known will not be your H any more. Well, I hate to point this out but right now he's hardly marriage material! Do you want THIS MAN as your husband the way he's acting? Or do you grieve the loss of the man you (thought) you had?
Is he REALLY the best man you've ever known? Or are you worried that you'll never find anyone as good, or one as good who wants you?
Trust me, there are TONS of great guys out there, if you H chooses to no longer be one of them!
My point is--these are fears and negative thoughts that are running around in your head. But that's all they are: FEARS and THOUGHTS.
They create negative emotions, but they CAN'T HURT YOU.
So dwelling on all this is what's hurting you, and that's why you need to find a way to stop.
It's really hard, really painful, but it can be done.
You can read my thread/posts for some things which have worked for me.
The key is: STOP THE THOUGHT CHANGE THE THOUGHT to something positive/empowering Emotions will follow.
Wash, rinse and repeat.
I feel for you, watto.
Reality Bites!
(And WE bite back! )
--GG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
) 