So she's not home. Big deal. Let it go. You're doing this all to yourself.
Update
I have to stop assuming he is here. Apparently if he comes it will be in late August before the holidays. She plans on spending the Holy days with the family..
She walked in and after I handed her a cup of hot tea she told me what happened.
First when she called OM, he told her about all the Cr@p in Israel right now. He has a Birthright Tour of over 30 kids and they cant go to the old city of Jerusalem because of the riot. She reiterated to me thats why she could never live there its to FVKeed up.
Anyway she told AP that she and he had to just be very good friends at this point. That she would not stay with him, that he has to rent a car and she will only meet him for a few hours for lunch or go for a walk in a public place. No true alone time.
She told the MC and me, that she is devastated that she allowed her relationship to get in the way of her morals. Yes, she though we were divorcing, yes she thought she was done with me but she should never have gone to bed with him it was wrong.
That when she was in Israel the last time she moved into the other room was to not get him sick, but the truth was its not that she was not feeling well, she moved into the guest room because she was uncomfortable.
He went ballistic according to her..her words were "I got stuck longer than expected after I opened up my feelings to OM"
She told me that it was like an hour of dealing with him about her plans. Which included not staying with him in his hotel. Only meeting him publicly etc..just like two friends..Only walks in public areas. You see she does not feel comfortable showing affection in public. What I don't get is way she allows him to get all up in her face and controlling but if I just inhale wrong I am accused of these tactics.
Where I needed to rubber band myself (I am thinking of an electric dog collar) but the rubber band helped, was I said "oh and I am the controlling one?"
Her response was...Don't go there! (Still defending this louse)
Anyway this morning she said she had some paperwork. I politely said, just do us a favor and don't start working on the weekends so you can cut out of work to see OM...She did not like that...got all huffy that it has nothing to do with him
I told her the way I always caught her was the excessive weekend paperwork, before he showed up.
She said she would tell me and she is still trying to convince him not to come...but that my comment was controlling not his insistence on coming anyway!!
Then she kissed me good morning and I said to her you still avoid my lips like I have the plague but when you see him its going to be tongue time..She actually laughed at this and said you know I don't show affection in public so don't worry!!
This is what I don't get...the lack of real affection..she will hug me if she thinks that's what I want..but no real affection..
Then I did say so when are you going to box up those brass rings and ship them back to him..she gave me the look. Still not ready I assume to end this immature commitment they made!
The marriage Counselor believes as long as she does follow her commitments of only friendly meetings I should be OK with this. Especially since she said that she planned on following this as long as we are married. The MC believes that the longer she does this and the more time she spends with OM on her turf in the US the more it will drive a wedge between them. she has started to complain to the Good Dr about OM and she complains about stuff that if he was her husband (ME) the MC would recommend divorce
So my goal is to just shut up and not talk about anything to do with the OM or the relationship. Especially tomorrow when she and I have a 5 hour drive together!
