Finally found DB...New here

[GoatGal]

MLP,

I'm struggling with boundaries as well.

It's hard to think about enforcing certain things because of the "what IFS?".

But you also need to figure out what boundaries are necessary for you to maintain your well-being. (At least what's left of it, and give yourself what you need to build that back up.)

For me, when I discovered OW, I threw H out.

Then we kind of worked on things awhile (not very well) and when he served me, I threw him out again. He's still gone.

I just couldn't take living like that.

But you may be different and able to handle it better.

So maybe it's not that you toss him into the street, but even in the same house you don't have to have a "relationship" with him.

You can choose to treat him like a boarder, but without the continental breakfast and free laundry...

You don't have to talk to him about anything other than required day-to-day things.
He doesn't get to force you to be his "pal".

So you think about what YOU NEED to feel that you're not being pushed around or harmed in any way, and then find a way to act on that.

Whether or not/how you communicate that to him is another discussion.

But it seems some boundaries have to be established here for you to feel safe and well.

---GG