Tboned - I discovered that about myself as well - stuff to deal with from the past life pre-H. We have our own FOO issues ya know? I started thinking back about the first marriage I had and how when I remarried I had changed nothing, I didn't heal or do any work at all - that's why I feel like this time I've done the work on myself, the one thing that I can control He may seem like he's doing well but that may not be true. In my sitch I thought that too - he was obviously acting like he was happier than he'd been in his entire life when he left me, but he now spews venom and I can tell he's not happy at all. I decided to be responsible for my role in this and he's only placing blame. It's up to them to discover that they are also responsible for their actions and themselves. It is hard to stop the mindreading but you can do it. At some point I figured out that it didn't matter what he was doing because it was no longer my business, and it changed nothing. Even if you know what he's doing or thinking it changes nothing in your sitch. Only you can change it by doing your GAL stuff and changing focus. Focus on you, you're awesome, you will find new things and people that make you happy. It does take awhile to get through the grief, there will always be reminders but it does get better. thinkin about you - have a nice 4th ((hugs)))
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
He may seem like he's doing well but that may not be true. In my sitch I thought that too - he was obviously acting like he was happier than he'd been in his entire life when he left me, but he now spews venom and I can tell he's not happy at all. I decided to be responsible for my role in this and he's only placing blame. It's up to them to discover that they are also responsible for their actions and themselves. It is hard to stop the mindreading but you can do it. At some point I figured out that it didn't matter what he was doing because it was no longer my business, and it changed nothing. Even if you know what he's doing or thinking it changes nothing in your sitch. Only you can change it by doing your GAL stuff and changing focus. Focus on you, you're awesome, you will find new things and people that make you happy. It does take awhile to get through the grief, there will always be reminders but it does get better. thinkin about you - have a nice 4th ((hugs)))
