H just picked up the kids for only the second time since he left me. I have plenty of plans for this weekend so that's good.
He didn't hug me goodbye and that makes me sad.
He did try to fix a blocked gutter so that's either good or neutral.
We were pleasant and I smiled and was helpful so there's that.
I think he thinks I'm planning to divorce him. I got the lawyer, I explained the process, I told him I wanted to start it now but that it takes a year in our state. I did all that when I found out he'd still been keeping in close touch with OW and now I'm not sure I want to follow through on it. But also I haven't heard from the lawyer since I paid the retainer. At the time I thought there was no point in fighting for him since he'd lied to me so consistently. Do I have no self-respect??? Maybe I should pursue it and let the chips fall where they may. I don't know.
And he said something about smoking pot last Sunday that got me wondering if he actually has and has been lying about that too. In which case he's now kept so many secrets that I wonder who I've been married to at all.
I'm feeling sorry for myself right now. Can you tell? Miss my kids already and feel angry with H for putting me through this.
Actually I think some of that anger I hadn't yet felt might be rising up. Can I call him names? He is hurting me so.
Labug, I'll answer you when my pity party is done.
Last edited by Maybell; 07/03/1409:53 PM.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
