Help Please: Chapter 2

[Maybell]

H just picked up the kids for only the second time since he left me. I have plenty of plans for this weekend so that's good.

He didn't hug me goodbye and that makes me sad.

He did try to fix a blocked gutter so that's either good or neutral.

We were pleasant and I smiled and was helpful so there's that.

I think he thinks I'm planning to divorce him. I got the lawyer, I explained the process, I told him I wanted to start it now but that it takes a year in our state. I did all that when I found out he'd still been keeping in close touch with OW and now I'm not sure I want to follow through on it. But also I haven't heard from the lawyer since I paid the retainer. At the time I thought there was no point in fighting for him since he'd lied to me so consistently. Do I have no self-respect??? Maybe I should pursue it and let the chips fall where they may. I don't know.

And he said something about smoking pot last Sunday that got me wondering if he actually has and has been lying about that too. In which case he's now kept so many secrets that I wonder who I've been married to at all.

I'm feeling sorry for myself right now. Can you tell? Miss my kids already and feel angry with H for putting me through this.

Actually I think some of that anger I hadn't yet felt might be rising up. Can I call him names? He is hurting me so.

Labug, I'll answer you when my pity party is done.

[Maybell]

I just want to add that if we end up divorced that this will be among the dumbest, most unnecessary divorces I can imagine. Just really frickin asinine and stupid because I'm sitting here saying I can accept that you cheated on me because now we can finally fix this sucky marriage and HE'S the one running away because he's too chicken s&@t to face his issues like a proper grown up and instead has to throw a freaking grenade in the middle of all our lives and dismantle his family and abandon me 700 miles away from any family just so he can go act like he's 22 again and not have to face his balding head and the fact that his daughter is growing up.

What a tool.

[Maybell]

Yep. There it is. I'm good and mad. Now I'm going to pour myself a drink of something cold and watch something on television that he would HATE because he has set me free to be myself and I don't have to spend my leisure watching HIS crap anymore.

What a pud.

[Maybell]

Oh, and somehow he got signed up for a rehab website. Sent me an email asking if I'd done it. Um, NO, I have better things to do with my time than sign you up for random websites. Maybe somebody else with more actual knowledge of your daily life thinks you've got a problem. If I thought he needed rehab I would figure out a way to keep my kids away from him but here I am supporting their relationship with their father.

Just goes to show how very little he understands me if he thinks I could do something like that.

And he really needs a haircut, he's looking ridiculous.

[claire7]

Let it all out, Maybell! Pour yourself a nice cold drink. And, one thing I've forced myself to do is ENJOY my nights without my D instead of being sad the whole time. I can come home whenever the heck I want, no need for a babysitter AND sleep in the next day!??! It's not what I would choose to do every single weekend, but I might as well not be miserable about it, right?

[GoatGal]

Claire's right and so are you, Maybell,

Find a movie/show to watch that your H would complain about, take a hot bath, curl up with a good book after a hot bath... It's YOUR NIGHT! Do whatever you want!

Personally, I'm happy Mr. Crazy is gone.
Now I'm going to make a nice meal for myself and watch a scary movie with the mutts.


Some things are better without a man!

[GoatGal]

"I just want to add that if we end up divorced that this will be among the dumbest, most unnecessary divorces I can imagine. Just really friction asinine and stupid because I'm sitting here saying I can accept that you cheated on me because now we can finally fix this sucky marriage and HE'S the one running away because he's too chicken s&@t to face his issues like a proper grown up and instead has to throw a freaking grenade in the middle of all our lives and dismantle his family and abandon me 700 miles away from any family just so he can go act like he's 22 again and not have to face his balding head and the fact that his daughter is growing up."--Maybell

I AGREE 100%!!! Here too!

"What a tool." Yup. Here too!
-----------------------------------------------------

Claire's right and so are you, Maybell.
Take advantage of the fact he's gone. Sometimes it's a relief to get away from all the insanity...

So, yeah, pour that drink, watch a show that your H would complain about, take a hot bath, curl up with a good book... It's YOUR NIGHT! Do whatever you want!

Personally, I'm happy Mr. Crazy is gone.
Now I'm going to make a nice meal for myself and watch a scary movie with the mutts.

----GG

[Maybell]

My evening turned around beautifully. I did pour a nice adult beverage and had popcorn for dinner and watched a movie we both have been wanting to see and never got around to. And I don't feel a tiny bit badly about seeing it without him. And then to top it all off I got texts from D11 AND H that S8 threw up all over the swanky new kitchen.

(Not to worry, S8 isn't sick, it's a sensory processing thing we've been working on since he was 3. I do worry a bit, though, because he had been getting it under control but now throws up for H every single time he sees him... And no other time. S8 and I are going to have a talk.)

Thanks, GG and Claire, I knew I could count on you. Feeling better now. Still angry... But productive angry.

[GoatGal]

So he's christened H's swanky new kitchen with a nice puddle of vomit?

GO KID!!!!!


Maybe his sensory issues are telling him that the new place is really tacky, and the "new" H smells rotten. You just can't pick this up, it's so subtle....

(Come clean now, Maybell. Did you bribe him to do that? )

[Maybell]

Lol. Nope.

But I don't want my boy to have that problem. It's not his fault his dad has poor life skills.