I had my first band practice last night since BD#4. # hours of no thinking about sitch things... Just on creating and practicing music.

Epiphany hit me...

The importance of GAL.

And GAL with things you didn't do with your spouse.

I had started looking for a band after BD#3 last year when I started dropping the rope in earnest. After xmas I found the band project, and we actually like each other and have become good friends. They were there for me. W and I never got around to doing music together, so this was something that was always a separate activity not connected to W.

Contrast that to my garden this year, aside from having to be single Dad doing everything, this was something that W and I did together, so every time I went out to try to get going on it, I would be reminded. So this year it isnt very good. And that's okay, a year of rest on most of the beds will good for them.

But the take away is....find GAL activities that are NOT connected to your spouse and M/R.

My music, backpacking, camping, reading sci-fi/fantasy, etc, the things we did NOT share, are a great joy, comfort and satisfying.

The things I like to do that we did share are tough yet.

This also points to another reason why in a R, you DO need your own, separate activities from your partner.

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm