Unfortunately this is a process that takes time. How much time? I'm not sure. I've been here now for 8 months. I think the Divorce Remedy book says that it takes a really long time and it feels a whole lot longer. This is true. Like most traumatic situation, time seems to slow to a crawl, and you will feel like you are absorbing tons of information all the time. (I feel that way, anyway.)
I just read on another thread a great marathon analogy. This is a marathon. The good news is that you've got lots of people here cheering for you with support along the route. There are water stations throughout the journey - so take advantage of the respite when you get it. As someone who has run a few marathons, I can say that they often suck. My fourth marathon I ran with a blister on my foot and I really really wanted to quit...But I didn't. And at the end I had a medal and I could successfully say that I did it without quitting, and that felt good. I think this is going to be like that.
