D13 called me last night at 11 pm. I was asleep but she called again a minute later. She was sobbing. I thought the worst - she's at my MIL's house with W and S9 - what could be wrong? I was hoping she hadn't overheard W talking about anything.

After a few minutes of anxious questioning, I figured she had PMS weepies. This is all new this year, and she's still learning what to expect. Everyone else was asleep, and when she went to crawl in W's bed, W said it was too hot, and she should go back to her bed. frown Understandably, W has been a little short with the kids for the past 6 months.

So we talked and talked for 45 minutes, about anything and everything. And she is comfortable talking about everything. (as the father of a teenage girl, I hope to keep it that way) We talked about what she wants to do when she and I and S9 go on our vacation (without W) in a few weeks. I was happy to hear that D13 is now fully on board for our vacation even if W doesn't come with us.

You know what else? I didn't try to fix anything! I listened, and practiced validating! (yep, on D13) Because that's all she needed. By the end of the call she was happy, told me how much she loved me, and that she missed me and was looking forward to getting home.

D13 apologized for calling me so late and being sad, and I just told her that my whole job in life was to help her be happy and that she could always, always call me any time to talk about anything. It was a great call.

One thing I will take away from this whole DB experience is that I really did need to strengthen my relationship with my kids. That was my biggest 180 and I will say again that I do not regret any of that effort.

For anyone having trouble detaching, try turning your focus to relationships that you can work on. D or no D, I want D13 to know she's always got her father.