I think Dr. Laura is a bitt off the mark on this. Most men do not get their confidence from their spouses. If they do, then they need to re-examine why that is true.
I very much want to be desired by my wife, but I am not dependent on her to provide me with some basic emotional element. If need be, I can find that somewhere else. I am also old enough to realize that love is a choice, therefore, there s more than just one ideal mate for me out there.
Want I want and need from her is ackowledgement that our marriage serves its design purpose, and that is NOT for her to feel all warm and secure while I am falling apart.
Find something that you do well. There you will find at least a seed of confidence to draw from.
Over the years I have learned how to do quite a few things really well. While my relationship is as screwed up as anyones, I hav e never doubted my abilities, or lacked confidence it trying a different approach. I did run out of ideas a few times in working to repair my relationship, but I damn sure am not afraid to try.
Sometimes radical treatment is the only way to rid a body of cancer. Sometimes a more gentle aproach is required, but it absolutely requires treatment in some form or another, otherwise death results.
I think a relationship is much the same way. You can ignore signs and symptoms for a while, but ultimately, you have to DO SOMETHING.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
