My H's MLC

[Ssarah]

Thanks Matt165. You're right with so much you say. The one thing I also hope and pray for is that one day my H wakes up and realizes what he's done. That he realizes what he lost and that it wasn't what he painted it to be after all. That he misses his family and what we had. He is so twisted in his view and so dead set on the decision he made that it's hard to imagine him snapping out of this ever and realizing things. I'm grasping more and more that this is so much greater and deeper then Anyone could understand. I'm slowly realizing and it sinking in for me that the old H I yearn for is gone. Maybe to be replaced by someone similar in years ahead or maybe to be gone forever. It's just so crazy to think about what happens to them. How the force of the MLC could be so great that it just wipes them clean and fills them with such negativity and hate. It's like they're hypnotized or under a spell. It's something that is unimaginable until you're involved and then it just hell.

But you're right I have to try and keep my head up. I definitely have had my moments of weakness and today was one of those moments. He just really got into my head and I need to learn how to block that.. not let him get the best of me.