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igit Offline OP
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I told her last night if she wanted to talk about it she needed to be honest with me about other m. That's when we talked about her getting apartment. It's hard to work with someone who is lieing to your face.quick question how do I find navigation page I wanted to move this to waw post


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

igit #2465491 07/02/14 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted By: igit
quick question how do I find navigation page I wanted to move this to waw post

Threads on these forums can not be moved.

As I posted to you on the other thread - you are probably better off staying here.


Me-70, D37,S36
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igit Offline OP
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My point is this. I will discuss it when she takes legal action. If she doesn't want to be in limbo then do something about it. She is one that wants out now that she is in love with other m. So just do it. I will take all emotions out of it and do what's best for me and kids period. She will not get anything more than what she is entitled too period. Giving into her won't change her mind.
No such thing as happy divorce. When she moves into apartment she can visit kids everyday if she wants but there won't be any family get togethers. You leave your kids and husband wake up and see what you have done. A heard a wise comment on making decisions. If it makes you happy and all those it impacts happy then go for it. If it doesn't then don't do it. But some people are selfish and don't care about anything but own hapiness. What they don't realize is hapiness is an inside job.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

igit #2465628 07/03/14 02:55 AM
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igit Offline OP
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Wife came in my room tonight and said she was feeling really crappy, guilty, and sad. She said boys seem so happy. I told her when you make a major decision you should consider does it make yourself and everyone close to you happy then go for it. If it doesn't than you shouldn't do it. Maybe I was pursuing, but it was said anyway.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

igit #2465638 07/03/14 03:47 AM
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igit Offline OP
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I guess what I should have said was , so your feeling guilty, sad and crappy. I say a prayer when I feel like that.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

igit #2465641 07/03/14 03:54 AM
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Hang in there igit. You sound really angry. What is your goal? Do you want to make her feel bad? Or save your marriage?

I totally get why you would be pissed off, what she's doing isn't cool. But if you want to have a chance at saving this, you need to reel it in a little bit.

Don't give her the courtesy of making it easier for her by acting pissed off and saying snippy remarks.

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Yea, Thornton is right igit. Come to this forum and post your vents. Believe me, I will understand them. Take the high road with your W. Believe me, when my W texted me today asking for $ every ounce of me wanted to say call OM. And then question if he would even do it and what a great guy he turned out to be. But, I keep that for my inner monologue.

You can get through this igit. It just takes an effort to control what you WANT to do vs. what has been shown to give you the best shot at R.


Me: 42
W: 32
Married 7 years together 8.5
S1: 7 S2:7
Bomb #1: 09-16-13
Recon #1: 11/13
A discovered 04-03-2014
W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me
I filed D 12-02-2014
S 05-31-14
Divorced 5-19-16
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igit Offline OP
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I appreciate it. I was venting on this forum,, , when she came in room I was nice and for most part I think she felt that. The comments about making decisions I should have kept to self


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

igit #2465707 07/03/14 01:34 PM
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Igit, you don't pursue, you preach.

I get it, you're angry at your W's actions.

But the only person you can change is you. So what are you doing in that direction? What is your part in the breakup of your marriage?

Quote:
The comments about making decisions I should have kept to self

Good insight, if a little late. You're hurting and you want to hurt her. That will get you more of what you already have.

Why do you want to stay married to your W?

What are three things you can change about you, that you know you need to change?

What's your plan for making those changes?

This DB is not about you getting your W to see the error of her ways (that's controlling and fixing).

It's about you making changes, real changes so she might make different choices and want to be in a marriage with you.






Last edited by labug; 07/03/14 01:37 PM.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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La bug thanks for post. I know she is hurting her telling me she felt lousy all day and was feeling a lot of guilt. It caught me by surprise. Conversation was light I wish I had kept comment about decisions to myself.we are going to parade on 4th and then evening fireworks as family. To answer your question on what I am working on to fix me is my com it tent to faith.also working really hard on not judging people and being less critical. When w and I talked about her getting apt.and not fighting her on it. I think it hit her that she is free to do what she has been asking for. Any further insight u have?


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

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