I actually have a certain amount of compassion for OW. They rarely seem happy. They clearly have big issues. They've sold themselves low and there's no doubt that they are at least a little bit aware of it.
When I was newly out of college I worked at a law firm where the new assistants like me were basically feed mice for the male partners. Those guys were shameless and predatory and not at all subtle. One tried to lure me in with the promise of a trip to Paris. Another stuck his left hand in his pocket whenever he spoke to me, as though I'd never notice his wedding band. It was only the ick factor of their brazenness that kept me from falling for these guys. My sense of self had been dinged up pretty good in college, I was alone in a new city, and it was hard to make friends.
There are thousands of ways for people to be vulnerable to bad choices. I'm sorry my husband now falls in that category, but if I can show compassion to a young, troubled OW should I deny it to my husband of sixteen years?
Which is the reason I defaulted to standing for my marriage in the first place, and the reason I'm struggling to be clear on why and how I will continue to stand for it.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
