Well, I think a MLC is when someone realizes their life is half over and wonders what they could have done differently to life a more "exciting" life. Usually they also don't want to admit that they're physically hitting that "middle-age" classification, and try to convince themselves that they're still as young as they want to be. (Mind, some middle-agers can be younger than some young adults - just depends on how jaded or content they are. I'm talking about the individual's perspective, not what I think in that.)
I think a MLC can be brought about BY a SSM - he or she realizes they're not happy with how they've been living, that big 4-0 (or 5-0) starts them thinking that they've spent half their lives (or 10 years, or however long) in a relationship that doesn't make them completely happy, and realizes they're getting to the years where they might not have as much chance to BE in one, and the usual actions taken to make them feel younger become actions taken to make them feel younger and satisfied in the ways they weren't before. That realization of middle age I think could also make a person more likely to be willing to cut and bail instead of work on it because, after all, they've had half their life (or 10 years, or however long) to get it right, and if it hasn't, why bother now?
Part of me also thinks that in some ways a MLC might be brought on by boredom - the realization that one has become one's parents, and how boring were THEY? - from living a fairly stable - if not sedate - life. Sort of... through most of a person's life, there are things constantly changing - in the beginning of a young adult relationship, establishing careers, putting finances together, having kids, the kids growing, dealing with the teen years, having the kids move out... and once they're gone (or maybe once they're old enough that teaching them how to be good people is less the job it once was, or a less successful one) and the career has been established and settled for a few years, it seems like it would be easy to slip into a pattern of living, but now without the constant changes and struggles. Or maybe the pattern was there but there was so much else going on there wasn't really time to worry about it. And once there isn't... it seems like it would be easier to realize how that pattern exists and get bored with it, want to do something to shake things up, make life exciting again, avoid feeling like an old fogy. And an SSM would definitely intensify those feelings - if you're bored and frustrated with your sex life on top of everything else... *shrugs*
*frowns* So I guess I'd say that a SSM can intensify a MLC, and a MLC can bring a SSM to the point of no return... But it seems to me that the actual psychology of the two are different... but could easily be intertwined.
I am turning in revolution
these are the scars that silence carved
on me
