I'm sorry you are having a difficult night. Please know your feelings are perfectly normal. That being said, I say no to discussing OW. My response is a bit different than some because it has nothing to do with pushing him towards her. She's not worthy of a conversation. There is nothing to discuss. Is your h going to tell you that she understands him and they discuss Justin Bieber? Don't waste your energy. Can their R last? Honestly, anything is possible and you have zero control over that. The only person you have control over is you.
The h you knew is gone. You are a strong lady and a great mom to your boys. Take the high road. I said in a moment of frustration to a friend that the high road must be a one way road with little traffic while the low road must be a 12 lane highway with 24 hour a day traffic jams.
Your h's actions are his. You didn't * make* him have an affair. No one is running over you unless you allow it. You simply aren't engaging in horse caca.
Can your m be saved? No one knows. But please know how good it can feel as a mother and a person to put your head on your pillow at night with a clear conscious each day. You did the best you could and lived by example for you and your boys.
You can do it and we are all rooting for you!
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 07/02/1402:43 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I have had no R talk with my H with the exception of the first few days after the BD. I agree with GoatGal as well.
As far as your dad telling you to let go my guess is that he is having a hard time seeing you hurt, his hope is you'll move on so HE CAN STOP HURTING TOO.
Along with DR I've also read quite a few of Liam Needen's series. Growing in Love for Life?? They are short and to the point for about $3 for my kindle. One of them discusses when the marriage is over...basically when you decide you don't want it any more or you give up trying.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
I know I can only control me. I really thought I was letting go and accepting what would be. But now the thoughts of him and Ow doing things we should be doing as a family with our boys makes me feel otherwise. I really do not want this to be the rest of our lives. I just think by now (5 months July 12th) I should have saw something positive by now. But there's nothing. Just more negative - he's closer and more public with OW.
TO - I think WAH going out with your dad is a GOOD thing.
Think about it. Why would he want to spend ANY time with your dad if he wasn't thinking about things?
I would assume if he was DONE, he wouldn't want to spend ANY time with you dad. That would be extremely awkward.
Just my opinion.
I do see your point but H is manipulative and does not tell the truth anymore. I believe he went with my dad because it was convenient for H. My dad is actually the one that asked him if he wanted to come. I think H just wants to keep the peace with my dad so he doesn't have to see me and can continue to come to my house when I'm at work
