I hesitate to keep posting because we just keep going around and around. But I feel your distress and so... it's like a siren call.
I feel like you keep missing the point with everyone here.
It's not about "getting a life" or "being OK with no sex"... it's more a mindset thing. No one is suggesting you ignore the problem or live in a sexless marriage.
You have identified the problem as existing within your wife, who is perfectly happy, except that she suddenly doesn't want to have sex anymore at all... is that right? (Or is it just a frequency thing?)
But if the above statement is true, the fact remains that you CANNOT CHANGE YOUR WIFE to be how you want or need her to be.
You can only change yourself. That is why we say "take the focus off fixing her" while also trying to see things from her perspective.
Talking with her is great if she'll talk openly with you about this---but jt must be framed in a way that doesn't pressure her, and it shouldn't be about you.
It should be more like: "Honey, you know I adore you and I need you to know you can talk to me about anything. Is there anything you want to talk about... because I'm feeling disconnected from you now... I worry that something might be bothering you and I want to help if I can".
Not those exact words, but you get what I mean.
If you get nowhere, she won't talk, well, then maybe give it a little more time.
Maybe she doesn't know herself. Maybe she does but doesn't want to hurt you or risk you leaving her. Maybe she's a Martian Goddess, darned if I know.
If more time goes by and she won't discuss it with you, and you can't live with it anymore, then you need to make decisions about the kind of relationship you need to have... and when you're ready, communicate that to her and see what happens at that point.
But I would advise patience at this point. Something has bound to come into the light.
Sometimes it's best to stop thinking about it so much and it becomes clearer.
Hang in there...
--GG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
