Sarah, You don't want to fast forward. I know it seems like nothing good can come from this but it can. Use this time to decide who you want to be, just you. The fact that the MLC S has made the choices for us weighs on every LBS. It is the most common thing that hurts us all. This is a crucible. How you come out on the other side depends on the choices you make over the next 2 years. I see on this board so many who have used their sitchs to become better people, better parents. As painful as it is now, you WILL come out of this. The choices you make now will decide if you are better for it or just bitter and angry.
Things are so fresh for you (and me) right now. You are still at the start where it's so easy to get lost in the anger, pain and bitterness. All they do is hold you back. Stop thinking that you somehow caused this. I wasted so much time trying to change for HER, not me and nothing I did could or would ever make a difference. That's because the thing they are running from is inside them. We didn't put it there or cause it.
Right now the best I can hope for is that someday my W realizes that I nor her M were the cause of her pain. That she see's the damage that she has caused everyone who loves her most in the world and can feel remorse for it. Until she is out of her tunnel I really don't want her back in our lives as as soon as things got just a little hard, she would just run again.
Live by your values. Be the person you strive to be. By doing this you can hold your head up and know that YOU did the right thing and didn't let circumstances dictate whether you did the right thing or gave into your baser instincts. Set an example for your kids of how one faces adversity. You can do this Sarah!
