My H's MLC

[Ssarah]

Exquisitetobe it's funny you say that because much of what drew him to me is what he is now using as ammo against me. He used to always tell me that the main reason he fell in love with me was because I'm nurturing and he knew I would make an amazing mom. Yet now one of his main gripes is that I was too involved with the kids and didn't focus on him enough. Mind you my kids were 2 and 6 months when he said this. What is it exactly that you wanted me to do, told them to wait because I have to tend to daddy first. I get that I should have balanced things better, paid more attention to him, but I genuinely did not know he felt that way. I was also not getting much help from him. I thought we were both adults and knew that these kids depend on us to survive and so they have to be our priority right now. Soon after BD he yelled at me saying all you give a $hit about is the kids, you completely discarded me, I'm right here, I'm in your face, I needed attention too! Those are the things I struggle with the most. Those are the things I blame myself for.

From your list of what makes a good relationship the only thing we were missing since the birth of my son was good communication (which may be the most important of the list). We lost sight of one another in it all and so now I own that and I think that's where me blaming myself comes from. You wonder if you gave them what they needed would this have happened. Maybe it's not MLC, maybe I made him crazy because of my neglect. I have no idea anymore.