Stumps, I'm new to your thread and haven't read your whole sitch yet, but talking about reading someone else's language for giving love... My H has been making dinners for me a lot of weekends when he's in town. For a long, long time I saw that as a kind of criticism -- that he was doing it because he didn't like the way I cook, or that I was inadequate because I didn't make the kinds of meals he prefers. But now we're separated I've come to realize that he was doing those things when he didn't HAVE to. Out of generosity. So I appreciate it a lot more and don't see it as a criticism. And that opens me to the possibility that he's doing it as a gift. Which leads me to see other things without expectations, also as acts of generosity. And so now I see him just a little bit differently than I did before. This isn't about associating him making me a meal with the idea of reconciling... just recognizing that he did something he wasn't required to do, just because he wanted to do it.
Does that help?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
