So Sorry Sarah, Time for you to get a lawyer of your own. Tell him and his L that you have retained one of your own and that ALL correspondence is to be sent to him/her. Not sure where you live but unless he has grounds he can't give you deadlines or even get a no-fault (love that name, like they aren't "at fault")without your consent. The next thing I would do after that is throw his smug butt out of the house and let him find his own place to live! First, you need to get him to start paying support to you and the kids.
My W did the same stuff. The smiling while telling me she filed a week after an hour long talk where she said she wasn't going to. The smug look when I told her something she didn't like and said I was lying (when I wasn't). Reminds me of teenagers who call each other names, they seem to get joy out of doing it!
Don't let him or his lawyer push you around. He is the one who is cheating. He is the one who is emotionally abusing his kids. Do these MLCers really believe that a court is going to see us as the "bad guys" like they do? My W is so worried about custody, wants us to come to an 'agreement'. I think because she knows that if push came to shove, I would easily get custody of our D14.
A quick question. Have you been served with papers that say he has filed in court? Is that what he wants an answer to? Again, different states have different processes but here in TX, you have to either be served or sign a waiver saying you have received the papers (and pick them up and sign that you got them from the lawyer). If they want anymore than proof that this is your name and you live at this address and you are aware of the filing and a copy of the filing then I wouldn't fill out ANYTHING without a lawyer looking it over! Most will give you a free consultation first before asking for money. Make sure you feel comfortable with who you pick. I ended up picking the first one I saw but he was very good and I liked his attitude and family first philosophy. He also gave me a set fee instead of hourly and that will save me money if my W tries to push things out.
Again, I know how you feel about how they seem to think that the tearing apart of the family is such a fun thing or a joke. Try and let that go. He is seriously damaged right now. Like you I left my W alone, let her do whatever she wanted anytime she wanted. I didn't ask questions and actually helped by taking care of everything while she went away on trips with her daddy and for work. She wanted space, she got it. It wasn't enough. The reason is because that was NEVER the problem. It's not you or the house or the kids or the job or even the OW, it's inside of them. They can run all they want but what is eating at their soul is going to follow wherever they run to. But for now he just wants to run!
I know D isn't what you want, I didn't (and still don't) but it's out of your or my control now and you MUST protect yourself and your kids! I will tell you this. When she first filed before moving out, my W was in a big hurry to get it over with. Now, she hasn't done a thing to get it moving in weeks. That will probably change soon once she gets moved in but it's funny how that was so important then but now doesn't seem so.
