Good lord!!! Why are you doing the man's laundry???? He is a grown up and is making growing up decisions. You don't have to be rude about it-just let him start to take care of himself. This is not punishment, but rather a reality that your old M is ovah!
Your h needs to start washing his own clothes. If he speaks disrespectfully to you, you say in a polite town" we can discuss this when you calm down" or "please don't speak to me that way" and walk out. You are not his mother. And it's time he starts doing things for himself. Focus on you and your babies. Do not engage with insanity. It is a bottomless pit. He wants a different life and with that different life comes changes.
I can totally relate to many of your feelings. I worked 9 or 10 hours a day and commuted an hour each way, kept up the house ( I mean I wouldn't eat off the floor or anything :-), and if the kids got sick some nights I literally never went to bed and went right back to work next day. One year I worked for start up company and worked about 18 hours a day, 7 days a week and holidays. I would get tired and frustrated, but I thought someone had to do it. Not good thinking. Now I realize, while I have always appreciated my independence, I do not have to be Superwoman. I can't. Better yet I'm NOT Superwoman. Life is too short. So toys stay on the floor a bit longer and the dog goes a few extra day without a bath. It's all good and I'm much happier as a result of not feeling like I'm on a treadmill.
Your h is in his own world. You cannot fix him. Your babies are only this age once so enjoy them. They change so quickly. Your h is probably on a tour around the solar system for quite some time. You CAN do this.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
