Newbie needs help

[igit]

After we put kids to bed w came into my room and gave me ultimatum. She said either I agree to talk about D or she was going to go into tell our 12 yr old D tonight. Also said I would come home some night and everything in home would be gone including kids. I just listened to her noise for a few minutes and gently said look I told you I wasn't going to help with this. I understand you are unhappy maybe you should get an apartment. I know you are sneaking around w other m. I don't think you are doing yourself or the kids any good by doing this under our roof. She admitted she was cried and cried. She said it was so hard, I just mirrored her conversation and she just wanted to keep talking. I did not show any emotion and when she held her hand out I didn't buy in. I don't know what came over me but I was calm and I think she felt comfortable talking to me about her problems. I told her I wanted her to be happy and maybe apt. Would help her find it. I still love her but she needs to fix herself. We talked about meeting for lunch once a week and doing something as a family on sundays. I just think it makes sense to give her freedom and be her friend and maybe A will fizzle.