Thank you all for the kind words and most of all for supporting me. I know I say when and until tonight I really thought I was in a better place. As stupid and irrational as it sounds him and my dad going out and doing something tonight just struck a nerve. He and my dad used to take the boys to do things all the time on the evenings I was still at work. It was hurtful he can walk all over us as he has and still 'have his cake' and do something with my dad and the boys.
I know I need to let go and really drop the rope as I thought I was. The more time has passed lately the more I know he is never coming back. It had been almost 3 months with no talk about us or anything that is happening. He'll he didn't even tell me he filed for divorce. That speaks to clearly the issues we had obviously that I wasn't aware of.
I feel so cheated and so defeated. I do not want to picture my life without H. I do not want to see my boys with him and Ow away doing things that we all used to do together with our children. It just hurts. I hope I will wake up in a better place tomorrow.
