WHat if I told her my daughter wants to see it (she does) and I ask her if it was worth seeing in the theatre?
That will work..... You need to see if the door is opened just a crack.. Gives you more latitude for future contact.... Wait for her response, then you can respond back and add a touch of humor...
What's more important is that you pace the exchanges instead of coming across as overly smothering. I get the sense that when W gives you an inch, you want to take a mile out of this like an overexcited 3-month old puppy. Watch out for your reactions which are centered around expectations.
The reason why I am okay with texting Ms. Wonka this week is that I have zero expectations and I know I will not spin out of control if she doesn't respond at all. THIS IS THE KEY. And our last text communication took place during the last week of March. So three SOLID months of zero contact. I'm a big girl and can handle this long dry period!
As for me, my plans to text Ms. Wonka a happy 4th is good because the timing is good and context is appropriate. Make sense? I plan to do this on the night of July 3rd. See what I mean about timing?
Wonka,
I view this as pursuit. In my experience with women, whenever one that liked me sent me a message like that, it only showed they still wanted me. I would think it also works in reverse...
It really doesn't matter if the movie is over or not...
If she responds and tells you it is no longer playing, it actually give you a great opportunity to respond back.
You are over analyzing this.. The key here is to send out a feeler like she did to you. "Hey, I just wanted you to know"...
Do you see how good that was? It left you wondering if she was missing you or if she was just contacting you with something she thought she wanted to tell you... YOU had to fill in the blanks... The great thing about it was that it OPENED the door for back and forth.. That is all you need to do here... WITHOUT obvious pursuit..... Subtle.. see if she is curious for more.... it leaves the door open for both of you.. If she doesn't respond, then you are still in good shape.. If she does, then you go from there... Baby steps....
What do you mean it is over? Can you clarify? You mean its been too long to ask about the movie?
I think she was kidding! But maybe it is that it's been too long about the movie. It's crazy that we as LBS sit here and plan days even weeks out a simple text that may or may not trigger a response from our S!
Not taking anything away from Wonka, I know she has been on these boards along time and knows what she's talking about, but you also have to remember there is not a one size fits all. You have to do what you feel will work for you in your situation. If it doesn't work, try something else. Just my opinion.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
What do you mean it is over? Can you clarify? You mean its been too long to ask about the movie?
It has been over a week. If you were to text W about the movie, it will appear as if you wanting to prolong the convo. If I were W, my reaction would be WTH??
I don't think Ive come across as smothering. Ive never contacted her. Ive ended all our conversations.
I am not saying that you've come across as smothering. I am using the example of texting W to ask about the movie now, it would come across as smothering. You don't want to inundate her with a bunch of texts.
I just feel in my gut that going dark only benefits for so long before I have to send out a feeler.
Going dark is not a strategy to elicit a response. Going dark is letting things settle and wait for the WAS to initiate contact. Why would you want to send out a "feeler"? A feeler for what purpose??
Sending out a feeler is vastly different from a breezy, light text with zero expectations attached to it. Sending out a feeler suggests an expectation.
You've read in the papers or heard about people sending out a feeler in which they expect some type of response. This is what I am getting the sense here from you, Thor. That could very well trip you up because you're not fully detached...yet.
I hope you sincerely believe that we are not trying to stop you from texting W. What we hope to accomplish here is to give you some pointers and ideas on the timing & context aspect.
Yep, I agree with the other posters that you're over-analyzing way too much.
I thought Wonka meant that the moment (to reply about the movie) was over. . And that if you brought it up now it would seem like you were pursuing. Wait for a new moment. Timing and context matters.
(By the way, I've been following this discussion and was inspired to send a text to my WAH. Hmmm.)
