What to Do III

[Ben2010]

Thanks Pete,
Yeah Im not too worried about the hand on the knee thing anymore. It bothered me at first, but now Ive just let it go. I agree about her behavior. I think its just a matter of time before she comes back and I just need to be patient. Yeah the FL thing took me by surprise actually. I loved that whole part of the convo, but I dont want to get excited and read too much into it.

I know that us S has a lot too do with my anger and the way I treat her. Ive been working on my anger alot since shes been gone and she even commented about how nice I was being when I talked to her last week. I think she cant be sure that its a real change yet and I dont blame her, it hasnt been that long. I also had my eyes opened to what Ive been screwing up as far as her love language when I read 5LL. The whole thing is so simple. Also she has a trust issue with me which is well founded as I have lied many times. Im working on being honest no matter what and it seems to be working out much better for me. Not sure if that answers your questions or not.

[pilot]

Ben you did an excellent job on your date! I am happy for ya man. It really is a good thing that she asked you about FL because that means she IS thinking about you in her future.

Keep it up!

[rayzzz]

Ditto what pilot said. Keep the road home smooth and paved bro!

[Thornton]

Anything new from WAW?

[oad]

hopefully things are going good....

[Ben2010]

Nah I dont have anything new except that I decided to text the W today. I know they say not to do this, but I have good reason to do so.

I texted her "Good morning beautiful". I got a response of "morning" about 40 minutes later. I didnt worry too much about that. Normally that would hurt my feelings or anger me in some way that she just blew off what I was saying to her. Not this time.

So my reasoning for texting her is

1)She always said that it hurt her feelings that when she broke up with me before, I never pursued her or tried to get her back.

2)This is one of the things that I used to do when we first started dating that made her fall in love with me.

3) This is a 180 for me as far as giving compliments. It isnt the same as in person but its the best I can do under the circumstances.

I think this is just one of those instances that she went from warm on our date night to cooled off today. Im not too concerned with it.

Thanks Oad and Thorn(I will not call you Thor) for your concerns.

[Ben2010]

Thanks Pilot and Rayzzz,
There was one other part of that convo though that I guess I left out on accident.

She told me that she had been at the apartment last week and that it smelled like cigarette smoke very badly. We both smoke but do not smoke in the house at all and havent for 2 years. I even took up ecigs now. I told her that I have no idea why it smelled like that since I wasnt even smoking. She then told "if youre going to continue not smoking, you might want to get rid of that apartment."

There are 2 ways that I could take that.

1)She clearly stated it like it was just my apartment and that she would not be involved in future plans for it.

2)Like my brother and his wife seem to think, she is saying that she doesnt want to live in "that" apartment anymore.

I dunno, this is some serious mindreading here, but I cant help it. It just really stuck with me. It also felt like maybe she thought she extended herself a bit with the Florida thing and was making up for it by letting me know that it wasnt all good yet. Again mindreading like crazy.

[oad]

ben maybe she just feels that she may have had such a good time that she needs to pull back in fear that you may take it as a green light to pursue....just stay the same way you where before the date and you will be fine. About the cig and apartment thing...who knows...we can mind read this 12 ways to sunday and probably be completely wrong..lol

[oad]

oh and im happy for you that you got a date...man I wish I can have that chance...who knows...

[Ben2010]

I think there is a possibility that youre right. I think that might be the case with all of the hot/cold behavior that the WAW has anyway. Lol yeah like I said major mindreading but I think we all do it to some degree.

About the date,
I have no idea how that happened man. I talked to her the night before and really controlled my anger and the conversation and validated like a pro. She told me that it was upsetting her that I was being so nice. I dunno I guess she wanted to stay angry and I wasnt gonna bite. Then just out of nowhere the next night I get a text saying "I think we should try to go on a date Saturday"

I have no clue as to why that happened really. I guess maybe she wanted to see how I was going to be for a bit more time in person. Again mindreading lol. Who knows man. I wish I had the right answer for you.