Also, MC said he thinks my responses to WAW might make her think that I'm rejecting her and that she might be too scared of rejection to break the ice again.
Also, MC said he thinks my responses to WAW might make her think that I'm rejecting her and that she might be too scared of rejection to break the ice again.
This is confusing. How so? It is not clear to me. Can you please be a bit more specific and elaborate a bit more? Thanks.
He thinks WAW was testing the waters when she texted me and told me she was struggling and asking if this was easy for me.
I kept things light and always ended the convo.
My mom has also been telling me WAW is posting lots of sad quotes on FB. Im still her significant other on FB, she has all her and daughters stuff here, and she hasn't changed her mailing address in 2 months.
Everyone seems to think that this isn't what she wants. That she needed to escape because of the pressure of buying a house, a new job, talking about marriage, during her first year of sobriety.
They think she made an impulsive decision and regrets it now regrets it but is so afraid that I'll reject HER. WAW knows in my previous relationship that Ive never looked back. She's brought that up to me before. Maybe she thinks I'm over her and she thinks maybe I never really cared that much to begin with.
She left and I helped her pack, I was cool and calm and I think that surprised her. I never pursued, ever.
Heh Thornton. My thoughts, if they're worth anything, is not to text. Let her text first and then, if the sitch is right, throw in an amusing joke/memory. That way it's more natural and will leave her, hopefully, with a smile. But make sure it's linked to whatever you are talking about. If you just throw in some random joke/memory she will perhaps see this as pursuing.
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
It matters not what others "think" what W "thinks" unless she's asked out right. So this is an exercise in futility.
Back to the discussion on texting the WAS.
What I want for newbies is to learn from our experiences as we've done this and that...got the t-shirt. We're passing on our wisdom and experiences from our own trials and errors.
Here's what I've learned in texts with Ms. Wonka.
-Alluding to "thinking of you...."...or "this made me think of you..." is simply a no-go. I've never, NEVER got a response back from Ms. Wonka when I've used any of those words. Precisely because it puts the spotlight on her and puts the focus on the fact that I was thinking of her. This is a form of subtle pressure for it comes across as sort of pursue-ing-ish
-Making a reference to a body part or hinting at it...silence
-Talking about places and events that speaks of "us"...you could hear a pin drop
What worked for me are:
-Speaking of neutral subjects
-Fun, light, breezy stuff
-Humor/jokes (not out of the blue...but during texts back and forth)
-Simple acknowledgement of birthdays
-Wishing each other Merry Xmas and Happy New Year
-Friendly competition (such as NCAA Final Four, NFL because those are our common interests)
I think you should text something like the way she did when she first contacted you...
Quote:
Hey, I just wanted to let you know.....fill in the blank (you have some mail here if you want it....)
That is all it took for her to get you to respond... .she just said..
Quote:
Hey I just wanted to let you know..
That may get the ball rolling.. if she responds, then you can respond back and throw in a little light humor.. short, sweet, no pressure.....
This way she can't read any pressure or pursuit into the text and yet opens the door for her to respond if she has been scared of rejection from you. It also leaves you room to respond again in the future..
You need to make it seem as if you have a reason for contacting her. If you don't then it will be viewed as pursuit. Just contact her with something minor to get an idea if the door can be opened a crack...
I usually advise against using the kids as an 'excuse' to get in touch with the W. I wouldn't do it. I know, I know. This makes it look like you cannot text W at all...not the case. It is all about context and timing.
And how long ago was that particular text to W anyway?
As for me, my plans to text Ms. Wonka a happy 4th is good because the timing is good and context is appropriate. Make sense? I plan to do this on the night of July 3rd. See what I mean about timing?
The last text was a little over a week ago. The Sunday before last. She was laughing at my jokes about my fat thumbs texting misspelled words and sending me smiley faces.
