I have read from a lot of LBH'S who talk about certain triggers after reconciliation. How something is said or done that causes all those horrible doubts and fears......and memories to come flooding back. It sounds as if the IPad problem triggered her old resentment. I'm sure you've seen her do this several times throughout this process.
I would like to make another suggestion for you to think about. Whenever you compromise or give over to her wishes on any given issue, if you come back in a short time asking something of her.....she may feel you set her up. Know what I mean? You did so great about the dates of her trip, but it seemed no time until you were asking if she would join you in MC. Plus, you asked her twice........which is pressure, Peter. I know you needed to tell the MC, etc., but maybe in the future you can try to work on your timing?
Men say that whenever a woman tells him to do something over one time......she's nagging. When a LBH suggests or asks something of his WAW over one time.....he's pressuring. Both people in these cases may have pure motives, but it is how it is perceived by the other spouse.
The longer I live, the more I realize how important "timing" is in everything, and especially relationships.
Yes, she will have to see this new change before she's convinced it will stick. you can do it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
