I think I completely dropped the rope after seeing the final divorce date. Two questions often asked on here; are you willing to try for reconciliation if there's an affair? Also, are you willing to try for reconciliation after a potential divorce? I thought about it and because of my personal believes that a marital vow should never be broken (with exceptions to annulments and abuse), I did not want to reconcile with someone willing to break such a sacred vow. In California whoever files (that was him) is the only one able to withdraw. I would have never filed although I threatened to idly, because I meant those words when I said I do. But also, we didn't have children, or a house, so I completely understand those on here who try for reconciliation after the fact.
Like most at first I begged and cried and screamed. Then I went NC with only friendly interactions over finances. He didn't react. After some time I thought this divorce might actually happen so I started to work on myself. And in time when I saw that divorce date something clicked in me that I finally knew I didn't need him to be happy or fulfilled. I knew I wanted something better. So for me he was no longer on my radar. But this took months of working (and still working) on myself. I didn't just snap my fingers and stop hurting. But its a hard decision to drop the rope and it depends where you are in life. Everyone is different.
