We had the hearing yesterday to determine how much I must pay W till we are D however long that takes. Not roadblocking but not helping either.
My L came prepared as did I, W and her L were prepared but not to the extent they would have liked I suspect.
After all was said and done I must Pay W an amount each month but she still has to pay a % of bills. when it shakes out I am really giving the W about 150.00 per month.
If she moves out that may change to about 400.00 or 500.00 but not enough to get a decent place to live without dipping into what ever money she makes at her job. She didn't lie about her income but wasn't forthcoming with needed information until pressed for it.
We claimed she had another job offer for a higher salary that she could take if she wanted but was probably waiting to see what she would get before committing to this other offer because it will affect her time at the gym I believe and a by-product is less time with OM who works at the gym.
My L advised to do anything to protect myself against being stepped on and to find out any info I could. So I did as I was advised nothing illegal but it still didn't feel right.
We held our cards close to vest until we had to negotiate a lower number. Her L was not cocky but confident and then after the 2 L got together his attitude changed somewhat. then My W and her L went away and when W came back she was fuming. Apparently she wasn't telling her L everything and now was a bit embarrassed and ticked off that I would protect myself. because I guess she had to explain some thing to him that never wanted to.
WE were left alone for a bit and she started calling me every name under sun I am snake, wtf, I have no respect for her. If I did the one thing she thinks I did I must have done another so that is just great. I am dead to her now have a great life etc....
When we returned home she of course was on the phone telling anybody that would listen that I m all those names and more.
WE both left to cool down. She came back with a new cell phone carrier and a lock for our bedroom door. Not sure if she can do that but it is what it is. She said when she goes she will put the other lock back on. She didn't say when she is leaving though.
When I told her I wasn't sure she was allowed to lock a door in our house. She said I am harassing her and got her Mom on the phone to be a witness. I said well I feel threaten because The OM girlfriend/wife of what ever has threaten her so I should file a report not charges but a report.
She said that never happened it was all to see how I would react I said did I pass the test? Not sure if she is not telling the truth here or not but I said well even if you are lying it is best I file a report.
She said OM and girlfriend have nothing to do with us. I countered and maybe shouldn't have with yes they do because I am M to you and obviously she feels like me. She got upset when I said well if we have to subpoena them for down the road the truth will be told.
Once again a huge tirade, I tried to validate but it was difficult being dead to her and all. I said just be adult about it. I asked if her Mom knew about OM and was she happy for her She said her mom knew they are friends. She got upset again. Then said we are S so I can do what ever I want I said yes you can you are and adult and can choose to do whatever you feel is best for yourself. So you are dating him then. She said JUst because you found receipts doesn't mean I am in his bed. I said what receipts. She got P.O.'d again thinking she said too much.
I told her I was keeping this between us but I had to tell my L so I could protect myself. She that was clearly not the case and you are telling everyone. I said no but more people are telling me things and that [censored] but it still doesn't change how I feel about her. I got a little upset and said Your not 1st person OM has done this with there is like 4 or 5 other women. So chances are he is cheating on you and that must make you feel horrible.( I made this up because I was mad). She really got upset so then said if I wanted to be a private eye I should do a better job. I said Its a small world no need for a investigator. It will all come out not by my doing but I know I will get blamed but if asked I can explain it all.
I remained calm but probably should have walked away. I have kept this OM b.s. between us. She knows I know and now is mad.
This is not good DBing I know, but I felt like W was cake eating and maybe that is why I keep going a little too far. I know this is a backside. Not sure if W has done the math yet so could be another wave coming at some point. My L and W L know I want to stand for my M not sure if what happened yesterday is a Death Sentence or not.
I will now start over I guess and allow my W to continue on her journey as I will continue to DB.
How bad did I mess things up?
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
