Dealing with an ongoing affair

[PeterV2]

I needed an answer because I was going in by myself to the MC in the morning and then I would have gone together with her in the pm. So I needed to let the MC know if she should hold open the pm slot for us. And I take no offence - you're not being rude. Even if you were I often need a 2x4 to set me straight.

I thought I left on a good note after we shared lunch today.
Then this afternoon she was trying to update her iPad software and was having trouble with passwords. Back in Dec I used her iPhone and Apple ID which actually was purchased by my company so I had the passwords, to locate her iPhone which was at the hotel where I found her with the OM and discovered the A. 3 days later she told me she was no longer seeing him, but the following weekend I downloaded her iCloud backup of her iPhone to my iPhone and read all the texts from that fateful week. She slept with him again that weekend and I decided then and there to end it with her. But she pursued me and the dance continues.
But today she blamed me for screwing up her iPad because of the 'bad things' I did in December. She was spewing all sorts of stuff at me today based on the weeks after the bomb drop. It upset me quite a bit. I only texted back helpful suggestions but I could tell that first of all she was frustrated with the technical issues and roadblocks Apple puts in the way, and secondly I could tell that made her angry at me for something I did over 6 months ago and have since apologized for. Obviously forgiveness is not in her lexicon. I was very tempted to tell her that my snooping indiscretions pale in comparison to the life-devastating betrayal on her part, however I bit my tongue and let it slide - writing it off to transferral of technical frustration into anger at spouse.
Maybe my current change in pattern behaviour and approach is scaring her, that she may no longer have any reason to continue our separation. But that's just mind reading. I'll just put on my spew jacket and whistle while I work. (Still my gut hurts).