Looking for inspiration

[Train]

Was actually about to write re: the driving/planning thing:

I think this is an area that, while it can be an asset in your work and home life, can really stand in the way of you having a healthy relationship and PMA.

I just can't stop thinking that if my H had an A (which he did), and *I* took initiative to plan things with him, I would, deep down, feel quite resentful. Maybe you and I are completely different in that regard. But I read a lot of "'splainin'" on your part when you "don't take advice." It's almost like you're trying to convince yourself it's the right thing to do?? You SURE that YOU are feeling good about being the one who takes the horns here instead of your H?

You pay attention to patterns, and you journal to keep yourself accountable and to be able to see those patterns. (Smart!) Look back through your journaling/posts. Is there a pattern when your PMA takes an upswing? Could it be when your H initiates things? Is it when you stay focused on YOU instead of your relationship?

To be honest, the whole driving/planning/controlling thing keeps popping up here. And I think it would be smart to really dive into that ... and what impact it had on the breakdown of your M. (Not what impact you THINK it had/has on your H but what real-live data shows it's having on your reconciliation attempts with H.)

Just my meandering thoughts ...