Ah ha, ah ha, ah ha! So I think it’s finally, FINALLY (only took a mere 42 years) clicking for me that truly no one is accountable for my emotions and ultimately my happiness but ME. I have often heard, and probably even said myself, no one can MAKE you feel some way. And honestly, I’ve never really fully brought into that. Far too many times I have felt and let other people or circumstances control my emotions because I thought that was the only way, that I had little power over how I feel.
It’s quite empowering to realize that I actually have a lot of control over how I feel. I don’t have 100% control, I mean if H does something crappy like have an A I am going to be mad and sad and heartbroken and all these things I’ve been feeling. But it’s my choice if I let these feelings consume and rule me. I can take actions and change my thoughts and turn things around at any given moment. Right now I can choose to ruminate and be sad today or I can take actions to turn this around.
When I think about the people whom I admire most it’s those who have found that sort of inner peace, that have figured out that they can and will truly be happy no matter what comes their way. That ultimately they control how they think and feel and therefore their happiness. I think if I can learn this one lesson, really absorb and live it, it will make a world of difference in my life.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
